Maria Dubaber: When the Soul Gets Weary 💔: The Masterful Game of Guilt, Envy, and Invisible Energy Vampires 💡

Welcome to this page! Allow me to offer you a moment of raw truth. I know facing these concepts can be difficult, but there is something profoundly liberating in recognizing the deep-seated, unconscious patterns that subtly shape our lives. The genius of Carl Jung lies in giving names to our murky feelings, showing us that what we experience externally is often a projection of an internal drama unfolding within our soul.

If you recognize yourself in these words, I want you to let this sink into your heart: You are not alone, and you are not weak. On the contrary. The very act of beginning to feel this tension, this burnout, this internal resistance, is the first, brave step toward freedom. 🧭

 1. The Whisper of Guilt: The Projected Shadow

One of the most painful relationship dynamics is feeling like you must constantly bear the burden of someone else’s emotions. Guilt-tripping works subtly, almost whispering its way into your daily life:

"It doesn't matter; you always get to decide anyway." "Never mind, I'll just adapt." (Accompanied by a cold half-smile.) 🎭

These phrases seem harmless, yet they erode your self-esteem over the long term. The core mechanism here is shadow projection. The person who constantly induces guilt in you is actually not fighting you. They are struggling with their own internal inadequacy, their repressed will, and the helplessness they cannot or will not resolve within themselves.

Your decisions, your happiness, become a sharp mirror reflecting their own unlived life.

The Liberating Realization:

• Guilt is not a sign of love; it’s a sign of a power dynamic. Where love exists, there is support; where there is guilt for choosing yourself, there is control.

• Manipulation works in masterful silence. You can live in this pattern for years, making small concessions, until you wake up and realize: You have lost yourself.

• Now that you see the pattern, self-knowledge is born in place of guilt! True freedom begins when the power of guilt ends.

🐍 2. Envy Wrapped in a Smile: The Tyranny of Invisible Tension

The other complex dynamic is invisible envy. It doesn't shout; it's present between the words, in the depths of their gaze, in the icy tension packaged inside compliments.

The person congratulates you, smiles, and seems interested, yet you leave the encounter somehow feeling more exhausted, as if they took something from your soul. Your spirit tightens because it senses: something isn't right, but you can’t articulate it in words.

Envy is the territory of unacknowledged desire. Jung emphasized that behind all envy lies a sense of lack. The envious person doesn’t necessarily hate you; they are hating the light, the success, the freedom they have repressed within themselves.

The Liberating Realization:

• Don't believe you did anything wrong! This dynamic is not your fault. Your existence, your growth, your light is what the other person's shadow cannot integrate. And that is not your responsibility.

• Awareness is freedom. Once you see the pattern, you no longer react blindly. You don't have to hide your successes or "shrink" yourself to seem smaller. You simply know: their shadow is not your burden. ⚖️

• True support does not question you. If someone constantly compares instead of celebrating with you, eventually you stop sharing your joys. This internal censorship is the most damaging: it holds you back from fulfillment.

🌪️ 3. The Energy Thief: The Silent Destruction of a Consuming Relationship

According to Carl Jung, every human being is a kind of energy field. Where there is no balance, disturbance is born. The energy thief doesn't always act maliciously, but they carry a constant sense of lack, an unmet need they try to fulfill from others.

It feels like an invisible hand is draining life out of you. The relationship is one-sided: you give, you hold, you nourish, while you empty yourself and receive no sustaining support in return.

The Liberating Realization:

• Your body gives signals, listen to it! The first signs are often physical: fatigue, a tightening feeling, internal resistance before an encounter. You may rationalize it by saying, "They're not a bad person." They don't have to be evil to exhaust you. It’s enough that they haven't learned how to recharge from within.

• Saying no is not selfish. The realization is about redefining your boundaries. Understand this: love is not always giving, and saying no sometimes is not selfishness. The energy you give to others must first be present within you.

🧭 Next Step: The Start of Freedom – Move Forward!

If you are reading these lines, your soul is knocking. Now is the time to take responsibility for yourself, not for the other person.

1.    Draw an (Invisible) Boundary Line: In the next moment of tension, don't react immediately. Take a deep breath and tell yourself: "This is their shadow, not my reality."

2.    Validate Your Own Feelings: Stop questioning your own feelings! If you feel tired or depleted, it is not "imagination"—it is a signal. Place your own internal state at the center, not the other person's behavior.

3.    Choose Clarity: True freedom begins where the power of guilt ends. You deserve more than consumption, power games, or guilt. You deserve balance, connection, and real presence.

A motivational question that points toward a positive future and can change your daily life: If you woke up tomorrow and could live without any hesitation, with complete faith in your own truth—what is the ONE thing you would immediately stop doing (or start doing) to truly live your own life?

#SelfAwareness #Boundaries #EnergyVampires #JungianPsychology

Mária Dubabér

Visual Therapist, Educator